D Day or should I say B Day

Well my birthday has come and gone. At first I was looking forward to the day and then it arrived. I woke up that morning and couldn't get the thought of failure out of my head. Every time I turned around I heard myself yelling at myself about what a failure I was. In the past week or so I definitely had experienced some set backs and disappointments but I did not expect myself to beat me up as much as I did. I think that many of my friends that were around for my semi meltdown thought that it had to do with marriage and relationships and such but honestly it had little to nothing to do with it. It had more to do with all the dreams and goals that I have worked so hard to accomplish and experienced only failure from them. I am the person who gives 110% of myself to my dreams but many times things just don't work out according to plan and that can be rather frustrating. For me I begin to question or doubt my abilities in that area, the whole "well it didn't work out so I must not be good at it" attitude. Why do I beat myself up so much? Why do I doubt my abilities and gifts? Why must the road have so many boulders in the way? Why can't I have a smooth, easy path? So many questions of things I just don't understand. In life I see and hear of so many people that have easy, "this person never went to school, picked up a camera, and instantly opened a business. I am not that lucky, I have to work hard at everything I do and those people that do I am jealous of. I did have a good day but it was somewhat tainted with my own self hate. This morning as I was looking for my inspirational quote of the day that I post on facebook (which honestly is something I need for my own encouragement during this time) I came across one that was perfect for the feelings I have been having, " Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." That couldn't have come at a better time. It's hard to see through the failure of a dream but it doesn't mean that we should just give up. Everything is okay in the end, if it's not okay then it's not the end. Theses are things that I need to imprint on my brain every time I feel like a failure. I am not a defeated, I am just delayed.